Lion and (inset) Jiffy Bag
London was today put under a high level of alert, as a lion from London Zoo was mistakenly posted to an unspecified address.
The lion, a six-year old male called King Charles II, was posted on May 19 and could arrive “literally anywhere” a zoo spokesman confirmed today.
“We know that on or around four pm on Thursday 19 May, a male lion named King Charles II, was mistakenly packed and posted to a London address in place of a promotional set of DVDs featuring puffins. We think that the address is somewhere in the SW9 area, but cannot be sure”.
Lions have always been an important part of London’s history. For many centuries they formed part of the Royal Menagerie at the Tower, along with bears, tigers and shellfish. Behind bars lions are completely safe, but in the enclosed confines of a suburban hallway they could cause carnage.
Self-professed lion-expert and author of ‘Lions, Lions, Lions’, Bob Tiger, advises caution.
“King Charles II will have been in the post for two, maybe three days by the time he is delivered. Obviously he will have become bad-tempered by this stage, and a bad-tempered lion is not something you want to unwrap by mistake. I would advise extreme caution to anyone who receives a fairly large jiffy-bag in the post in the next day or so. Employ what I like to call the ‘Bob Tiger Three-Rule Rule’. Rule One: Have a good look; is this a fairly large jiffy bag? If yes, think about Rule 2: ‘is it growling?” If the answers to both 1 and 2 are yes, chances are you’ve got a lion. I can’t remember what Rule 3 was. Something about running. Probably wasn’t important”.
Anyone who thinks they might have a lion in the post should call Radio Five Live at once, as it’s the kind of thing commuters like to laugh at.
